As far as I can remember, I have always looked forward to this particular day of the year, October 28. Most often than not, even days before, I would be emerged in deep thoughts, planning a surprise I can conjure simply to make this day extra special. I even remember, when I was still in elementary, I would start saving money a couple of months ahead so that I am able to make this day more extravagant. Then when I lived abroad, there were even times when I specifically nominated to go back home just so I can be in Manila for this particular day, sans all the rain that would meet me there. My heart fills with so much fondness by merely looking back at how we spent this day in the past. Unfortunately, this year is enormously different from previous years, not because it has become less special or less memorable. This day, for me, simply became difficult.
Today is the day that my mom was supposed to celebrate her 63rd birthday. As early as the beginning of this year, I was already thinking of ways to celebrate it. I was thinking that maybe this year, I could bring her hear to Amsterdam so that she could see our place or maybe bring her to Hong Kong so she can meet some relatives living there or simply make arrangements so that she can visit a province in the Philippines that she has never been to before. I had so many plans on how to make this day extra special for her.... And it is difficult for me to know that none of them will ever materialize. It pains me that this special day, a day that had always been filled with joy, now evokes a pinch to the heart.
This day, no doubt, is truly special for me. The happiness that normally fills me on this day may be smeared by a gut wrenching pain of missing my mom but still this day is her day and I will try my very best to remember her during her happiest moments.
Happy Birthday Ma, I miss you and I will love you with all my heart… till the end.
4 comments:
I am missing my mom too whose birthday would be tomorrow. I plan to do something she always enjoyed in her memory, like play some scrabble.
That's a great idea, maybe i'll cook tonight, something that my mom loves to cook.
I think we can never really get over missing them specially on their special days.
thanks for dropping by!
nalungkot naman ako sa post na eto.
hope ur ok na kreez, wherever she may be right now, naku super proud sau and mama mo!
ingat kayo lagi!
:)
hey niko, it was just a surge of fresh sadness, alam mo na kasi nga eh birthday nya, but were doing much better, we know she is in a better place.
yngat kayo lagi, and congrats again on your anniversary!
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